Is this page worth reading?

Probably not.   Unless you’re prone to morbid curiosity and are the sort of person who can’t help but slow down to look at roadkill.  Although, I have peppered this section with a few vulgarities and socially inappropriate commentary, so if you’re the kind of person who likes to do dirty word search puzzles or has absolutely nothing better to do with his/her time, it might be worth a perusal.

Who are you?

What do I look like, a goddam encyclopedia?   Read the f-ing header.

Are you single?

No.  There are actually four of me.  But this one is my favorite.

WTF?! I was looking for The Sovereign Strategist financial newsletter at sovereignstrategist.com.  How did I end up here?

Well, you’re in the right place but at the wrong time.  TSS is now defunct.   An unexpected wrinkle in the space/time continuum burped up a new and improved, kinder and gentler Mark M. Rostenko who realized there’s more to life, so very very much more, than chasing after profits in the rigged casino of the  anything-but-free U.S. financial markets.

What the heck happened?  You were the shiznit.  Gold went up a  gazillion percent, Fannie Mae went bankrupt, housing collapsed, so many of your forecasts were dead-on accurate — you coulda’ been somebody, man! You could have been the new Abby Jo Cohen, only prettier.

I’d been intimately involved with the financial markets for two decades, six years as a floor trader at the CBOT and trading from home for many years after that.  Producing TSS became a monumental pain in my skinny white ass and I grew quite weary of the taste of vomit in my mouth, the result of forcing myself to read the daily LIES and PROPAGANDA produced by the Fed and the corrupt, life-sucking maggot infestation called Wall Street.

When I started this game back in the 1980s, the U.S. financial markets were still vaguely reminiscent of the FREE markets they were intended to be.  By the late 1990s it had become increasingly clear to me that the government was intimately involved with propping up said markets, artificially inflating various bubbles and had essentially turned Wall Street into a casino where the uber-rich always win at the expense of everyone else.  The further I went down the rabbit hole, the more disgusted I grew with the bullshit and corruption of my former colleagues until I simply couldn’t tolerate it for a moment longer.  In the mid-2000s, I refunded all TSS subscription fees, walked away, and spent several years washing the filth of this industry off my body, mind and soul.  The handing over of hundreds of billions of taxpayer money to Wall Street and the banking industry under the corrupt Obama administration (hardly any more or less corrupt than the previous Bush administration) only served to reinforce the wisdom of my choice.

What do you have to say to folks who still want to trade and invest?

If you’re into it, go for it.  Just know what you’re getting into.  And you’d  better be prepared to devote your life to this game.  If you’re like so many millions of investors who believe they’re going to make fat profits by reading Money magazine and spending fourteen minutes a week going over their portfolios, dream on clown-boxer.  You’re up against the sharpest, greediest, richest people in the world and if you think you’re going to eat their lunch, you might as well send me half your life savings right now (I accept Paypal) and thank me for letting you keep the other half.  Cuz Wall Street won’t be nearly as generous…

What if I email you for some financial advice?

I’ll tell you I charge a $10,000 an hour consulting fee.  And that I accept Paypal.

So what are you doing now and what is this blog about?

You’re lookin’ at what I’m doing now, cowboy.  I’m utilizing my writing skills and the tiny smidge of talent Mom Nature shoved down my piehole at more creative pursuits…just “doing my thang” as it were.   Somewhere along the line I realized that the endless pursuit of money and profits is a DISEASE.   Money is simply a means to an end and for me, that end is simply affording my preferred simple, natural, in-harmony-with-nature-and-my-land lifestyle.  I’d rather frolic in the forest with the trees, animals,  plants and bugs and simply be present to the miracle and beauty of life rather than chase after illusory pieces of multi-colored paper.  Life is far too short to waste on accumulating more than I really need.  Once in a while, a hearty, refreshing and vigorous session of masturbation also finds its way into my schedule.

Have you published anything besides The Sovereign Strategist and this blog?

I’ve had my prattlings appear in the Wall Street Journal, Barrons, Windy City Sports, the Chicago Reader, the Boulder Weekly, the Daily Camera, other publications I’ve forgotten about and more websites than I care to count.  I also published a book back in 2000 but if you ask me, I’ll refuse to acknowledge it, kinda’ like Quentin Tarantino refuses to acknowledge “True Romance”, only without the star-studded cast.  (And yes, I AM way prettier than Quentin, thanks for asking.)

Rumors that I once declined a prime-time interview with Barbara Walters and ran out of the office screaming “I wouldn’t sell that repulsive scab my snot let alone share the same room with her!” have been, for the most part, moderately exaggerated.

Are you on Facebook?  Can I be your friend?

If you’re hot (and female), hells yeah, my sista’!  Otherwise, well, it’s negotiable.  Have your people contact my people and we’ll do lunch.  But you’re most certainly welcome to “fan” the Obscuriousmoo Facebook page.

Why don’t you find something constructive to do with your life?  Like home the homeless, shod the shoeless, brain the brainless, stuff like that?

Because I’m a reclusive whack-job with moderately psychotic tendencies who couldn’t give a flying fuck.  Think “Unabomber”, only without the bombs.  And fresh out of  Unas.  Anyway, I have pencils to sharpen…

Are these questions really frequently asked (FAQ)?

No.  I made all of this up.  No one likes me and hence, no one asks me any questions either.  Unless you count the fact that I talk to myself all the time, in which case yes, these questions have been frequently asked.  But only by me.

Any final comments?

NO.  Go away and stop harshing my mellow.